At the beginning of a journey to a new version of you, you’ll receive encouragement from all around you... There will be cheerleaders coming out the woodwork like a fanfare parade just commenced down the road.
But here’s the thing: Create the true desires you choose and really shift into that lean, muscular, toned and perfected version of yourself that you always dreamed of... And that praise may be replaced with worry or even abuse (from others).
This is common. Many who have experienced tremendous gains in a body transformation or a significant breakthrough in weight loss, where they always felt it would "never happen for me" or it may have been beyond your reach, many report this same phenomena. So why does this happen?
This is why: The people around you have become more aware of themselves because YOU have changed yourself for the better, and they now realise that they should be doing so too.
There. That’s it. The truth.
This is actually something that has been studied quite a lot in the field of psychology, and it even has a label attached to it. It is called cognitive dissonance.
What is cognitive dissonance?
At its essence, cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by someone who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values.
In the area we are talking about here, and in particular when you have experienced a tremendous positive shift in your weight, with your energy levels now soaring, and the feel-grrrrreat factor back in your life - just not because you're eating Frosties in the morning anymore! - this tends to manifest first of all as a mild sense of discomfort from those around you, that something "they can't quite put their finger on" has changed.
So the two contradictory beliefs arise: It is essentially the reason why some experience back-hand comments when they really seem to be breaking through to an amazing version of themselves.
The truth is that the people around you - and this is going really deep into the fun stuff here! - they really subconsciously do not want to see you succeed... It's as simple as that. As abrasive or challenging as that may seem to many, it is in many cases, the truth.
Here is one example to clarify what I am referring to here, so you have the colourful picture, and can fully grasp the ideas I am sharing:
- You have started a new course teaching how to succeed in gaining the best body you thought possible for the first time. And first up: Your friends, work colleagues and family are really supportive!
- They praise you for the change, and look forward to the results, they are REALLY supportive.
- You do it for a week and start noticing some pretty decent results.
- Everyone is jumping for joy at your new found levels of enthusiasm, and they can feel it too!
- So you keep with it, and this time you stick at what is working for another two weeks... You start looking quite different, and at this stage you start to notice the small comments coming from your family:
"Hey do you think this is really working for you?" or the classic:
"Why don't you come out for a coffee or afternoon tea and we can grab some cake!" (it can be very subtle like this...)
- You politely decline, just because you know that you *will* be able to eat anything you like soon, very soon, but there's a process you're currently focused on and nothing: nothing will divert your attention from it...
This is when the first BIG comment comes, usually from a close friend or your mother, father, sister, brother - select who is closest to you! - and it usually arrives along the lines of:
"You know, I'm pretty worried about you... You seem to be just, er, not eating... Or are you exercising TOO much do you think...?"
(When the truth is that you're actually exercising less than when you were on the treadmill, or even you're not exercising at all (in this phase) plus you are actually eating more, it's just more of what is firing up your body properly!)
You get the picture... For some, that first comment might even be a brash or even cutting comment from someone you never in a million years felt would, or could, say something like that to you.
Could be your best friend, your sister, your mother, father, uncle - the cat down the road (can I get a Hello there... Shameless Ralph Smart reference there :))). They see you in this new light, feeling the best you have felt in a LONG time, perhaps your entire life, and it makes them feel uncomfortable.
Why? You are probably asking yourself. In essence, the answer is because:
It threatens THEM.
This is the key and it is also a really useful tool I teach for how to overcome this particular difficulty you may be experiencing on your journey. When you can view others' perceptions of you or comments about you as nothing more than the insecurities, projections (projection is a big one you need to watch out for!) or difficulties that they have going on in their lives, this frees you immeasurably to:
- know that this is the case
- realise it has nothing to do with you, and
- allow you to walk your path unburdened by the thoughts feelings or comments of others
and enable you to move forward, up and up, and eventually away from that kind of discourse or dissonance in life.
The really cool thing I have seen is that a very large number of times when this happens to someone, or they experience AND they break through to the higher version they always wished for, dreamed for AND they achieve it... At *this* stage the most beautiful moment arrives, which is that now, the naysayers, or complainers, or people who were previously dragging you down are now actually seeking to follow your lead, follow in your footsteps and your example, and do and achieve for themselves exactly what you have now successfully managed to accomplish for yourself so brilliantly!
So in the end, cognitive dissonance is a blessing - truly - because although the "feeling" you get at the beginning can truthfully be felt as being quite a challenge, or perceived as pretty exacting and formidable, by the time you have soared up and away from this kind of energy, the void you have created is now benefiting those around you who now realise that they need to shift into gear for themselves to start experiencing these same highs, this same level of energy, this same boost as you now have.
You, right now? Just keep being you. Keep being awesome. Shift from the weight loss thinking mode to the energy gain mode - and see the weight literally melt away with ease.
And whilst the comments may be coming at you: You be you.
Just BE YOU. And the commenters will, eventually, follow :)
So if you are ready, and you now want to take your body, life and energy to the next level - where you see the body fat drop off with ease... Then just visit here to schedule a strategy session with me today, and we can get right to it!
To your high energy!